I’ve never blogged before…Honestly, I never thought my life was interesting enough for people to want to read all about it. (However, contemplating the idea, I realize that it would be quite humorous for anyone to read about the nonsense that goes on in my head… Boy, do I have an imagination!) Anyways… I’m supposed to start a blog for my trip to Guatemala. So, I’ll do my best to keep things interesting, and I’ll write as often as I can! I’ll also try to be real, honest, and open about my experiences and thoughts. I don’t want to put on a mask, especially when it comes to the work of the Lord!
I’m not sure how “connected” I’ll be while I’m down there… I’m under the impression that there will be Internet, but I don’t know how often or long I’ll be able to use it. So to any family member or friend who’s asked me if I can Skype with them, I regretfully must answer with “I. Don’t. Know.” I’d love to be able to communicate with everyone, but, like I said, the likelihood of my logging onto Skype, Facebook, or email could be slim (Or it could be a daily occurrence! Who knows?)
With that being said, I’d just like to start out by thanking everyone who made this trip possible! So many people have supported me financially, and I have been incredibly blessed by each one of you. Seriously! I spent many a night in my room, almost in tears, after checking my trip balance and finding that you supported me! Thanks for following the Lord’s call on YOUR hearts to help provide a way for me to follow His call on MY heart! Also, thanks for the prayers, and keep them coming! I’ve seen, first-hand, the impact that prayer can have on someone’s life, and I’m blessed to have so many people praying for me! :D
I suppose I should provide a little background information on my trip, just to get everyone up to speed. In February, I started to consider going on a mission trip. Several very close friends, including my sister, went on a weeklong trip to Nicaragua last year. I was able to witness the absolutely incredible and miraculous change that this experience made in each of their lives. Shortly after that time, I read a book by David Platt called “Radical.” If you’ve read it, or know anything about it, it certainly makes a strong case for going out into all of the nations, and making disciples of Christ. So, naturally, I began thinking about my options and researching different opportunities for that call on my life. What kept coming up was a website for the organization “Adventures in Missions”; with that came a list of mission trips for college students… lasting two whole months!
But, I started to doubt that this was the voice of the Lord. For those of you that don’t know me very well, I am a worry wart. I typically think things through, and I make logical/fact-based decisions after a deep PRO/CON deliberation within myself. I didn’t want to jump right into something that I was configuring in my own mind… But, I also didn’t want to miss out on something that the Lord really was calling me to do. It’s difficult for me to put into words, just how confusing of a time this was for me. I wrestled with the PROS and CONS for weeks. The CONS just kept pulling at me, and making it harder and harder for me to decide what to do. I really needed to spend my summer working, so that I would have some money to help pay for college (I REALLLLY did not want to take out more loans than I already had to) and I was afraid that if I didn’t work, I wouldn’t be able to afford school. I also felt called to be a prayer leader at my college in the Fall, so nothing seemed to make sense.
I began to pray and fast, asking the Lord to show me signs of what He wanted me to do. That next Sunday, I went to church early and just sat and prayed. At that moment, I was specifically praying for someone to talk to that would help me understand my situation. I felt a hand on my back, and a woman leaned over and sat beside me. She said, “Hi! I know you don’t know me, but… I feel like God told me to come and talk to you.” “That was quick!” I thought.
Cheryl, the woman’s name, listened to my predicament and then asked me to join a ladies Bible study. I was a little bit sheepish, but agreed to attend the Tuesday morning group, which just so happened to work with my class schedule. After arriving at the study the first week, I was placed at Cheryl’s table (a divine work of the Lord) and began to engage in Pricilla Shirer’s study on “Jonah: Navigating a Life Interrupted.” My life was being interrupted. I was just like Jonah! But, I didn’t want to run AWAY from God…I just wanted to be sure of what He wanted from me…
Over the next few weeks, I was able to grow in my knowledge of Christ, discover what He wanted from me, and fellowship with other women (some more than twice my age…) The awesome thing was that they didn’t look down on me for only being 18 years old! I felt incredibly comfortable with sharing my struggles with them, and they did the same. Although I couldn’t necessarily relate to many of the issues that prodded them (marriage, children, etc), I was able to learn from their lives and because of the openness we shared, my life was so fully enriched.
So after deciding that I would go on a two-month long mission trip to Guatemala, I had to raise the money. Because I had signed up so late, I had to raise approximately $3,000 in a matter of weeks. The Devil consistently told me that it was impossible, and that I shouldn’t even try. But, I trusted the Lord to provide. I only had one melt-down during the entire time (which is good for me! Haha) when I had my passport expedited, just before the government was supposed to shut down. It was supposed to take approximately 2-3 weeks for me to get it, and with the government going crazy, I thought I’d never get it! One week. That’s all it took. 1 week and my passport was in. The Lord is SOOO faithful, and my fears are always so ridiculous.
So here I am… 3 days away from embarking on a trip that will probably transform my entire thought process. And it’s pretty surreal. I almost can’t believe that it’s really happening. But, it is! And… I’m so overwhelmed with emotions. I’m excited, happy, sad, and scared (terrified really), all at once! Guatemala has a pretty high crime rate, and I’ll be in a group of all girls. So, I’m not sure exactly how “safe and sound” I’ll actually be. But, the Lord is my PROTECTOR when I am not comfortable. He’s my HEALER when I’m hurt, and my STRENGTH when I am weak. He’s my GUIDE when I’m unsure of my next move, and despite my fears of crime, natural disasters, getting lost, or even just being homesick, I know that I’ve been called on this trip for a reason. I’m soooo excited to see the LORD’s plans unfold and to be used as an instrument in furthering the Kingdom of God!
So, be in prayer for my trip, for my safety, the safety of the others on my team, open hearts of the Guatemalan people, and for an incredibly intimate time of growth and fellowship with our Savior.
Love,
Tabitha
P.S. I doubt I'll be writing this much in a blog ever again...
